First world problems.
That simple little term we give to issues we try to pass off as meaningless, but deep down annoy us as much as anything.
Because first world problems are as bad as it usually gets from those who haven’t lived outside the first world.
Last weekend was the Premier League’s most dramatic since final day, 2012, creating first world problems everywhere you look – namely, Old Trafford where David Moyes’ horrid start at Manchester United was made a lot worse by an out-of-this world goal from a kid with a third world upbringing.
Saido Berahino came off the bench when Scott Sinclair went down and ended up scoring the winner.
West Bromwich Albion's Saido celebrates after scoring against Manchester United.
West Brom fans knew he had talent after his full debut resulted in a hat-trick in the Capital One Cup. But that was against Newport County.
This was Manchester United at Old Trafford. That’s when your story goes mainstream, and what a story it is.
To him, maybe not, because he lived it and is just trying to live a life.
To him, maybe not, because he lived it and is just trying to live a life.
To the rest of us – in the first world – amazing.
Go back to the mid-90’s and central Africa is a place you do not want to be.
Up to 1 million Rwandans are being slaughtered by other Rwandans and about the same time, across the border in Burundi, it’s all kicked off.
Locked by land and strangled by internal, ethnic conflict, civil war tore the country apart. 300,000 Burundians died over the course of a decade.
A third world problem we hope never happens again, but does. Civilisation of the worst kind from another millennium.
Saido Berahino’s mum saw the signs and bolted for Britain as an asylum seeker, leaving family behind. His dad, wasn’t so lucky. He’d be one of those 300,000.
Details are sketchy, because not surprisingly, Saido doesn’t talk too much about those days. Might be about the fact he was only a child and kids generally tend to remember the good stuff, but he enthuses about one detail.
"Everyone was out all the time playing football," he told the Daily Express in August.
"None of us had boots and we used to make our own balls using loads of plastic bags and wrapping them up together. We used to make a ball out of those and actually it was pretty decent."
After his dad died, he spent a few years across the border in Tanzania as a refugee before he was finally allowed to join his mum in Birmingham as a 10 year-old.
A year later, he joined the West Brom academy, before his tale whizzes forward almost a decade to last Saturday at Old Trafford.
He certainly didn’t expect it, not even up until the point he went on for Sinclair.
"I wasn’t really ready. I didn’t even have my shin pads on properly when I went on," he said later, after swapping jerseys with the man who he made look bad, Rio Ferdinand.
There is a way to go, and he’ll have quiet days before days like last weekend become more regular.
Yet still, big names and big clubs are paying attention as they realise he’s on a contract worth “just” $1500 a week.
Yet still, big names and big clubs are paying attention as they realise he’s on a contract worth “just” $1500 a week.
Oh, and that contract runs out at the end of the season.
Arsenal, whom West Brom meet this weekend, are said to be interested. Everton too. Naturally, his current club will offer a much-improved contract before too long.
How lucky is that? Yeah, but not even close to as lucky as getting out of Burundi.
Even now as a delicate ceasefire remains since the last outbreak of violence in 2008, life expectancy for a male is 57, while 35% of kids under 5 are underweight.
Saido Berahino now has a first world problem of the best kind.
